Monday, July 22, 2013

SDCC 2013: Geek Plague Outbreak Map

They were all there, in one place....touching things..coughing..sniffling..wiping their germy phalanges all over every surface..grabbing your shoulder as they took a picture with you in costume...and shaking your hands as they left your booth. The infection has begun, and as the teeming masses longing to fall into a post Comic-Con coma arrive home, they are kissing their loved ones,  coughing on small children and touching the world. THEY. ARE. TOUCHING. THE. WORLD. We've identified the "Hot Spots" to avoid. Infection is currently spreading outward from San Diego to all points global. Infection is inbound to Fantasia in Montreal, though we are told movie geeks are more paranoid and so, touch each other less. Not as immediate but still impending sites of future outbreak include Boston Comic Con, Wizard World Chicago and New York Comic Con. We are expecting the first round of plague to be defeated by October for NYCC, but this event will launch a new strain and if the previous one has survived, it could mutate.

Here are some helpful tips to avoid the post San Diego Comic-Con Plague that is surely arriving in your town as we speak.

1. Avoid all direct skin-to-skin contact with anyone wearing T Shirts depicting Batman, Spider-Man, The Big Bang Theory, Voltron, Inspector Gadget, Rainbow Bright, Thundercats, Chris Hardwick, Transformers, Supernatural, Star Wars, Ghostbusters, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, My Little Pony, Shin Chan, The Walking Dead or Betty White for 2 to 3 weeks.

2. Use hand sanitizer every 6 minutes.

3. When coughing, do so into your elbow.

4. If you overhear the phrases "Red Wedding", "Age of Ultron", "Veronica Mars" or "Clark Gregg/Tom Hiddleston/Nathan Fillion/Bear McCreary is so hot" on public transportation, move as far away as possible and cover your mouth and eyes.

With your help we can get through this infection with limited casualties. Thank you for reading.
of course, we kid. don't sue us.

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